Black Friday Shit Show

The day after the day of thanks and I have many things to be thankful for. The multiple elaborately put together meals we scraped on, the beers we drank for free, the leftovers we looted, the family we got to impress. Wearing clean collared shirts and swanky sports coats we made fashionably late entrances met with the joyful gleam of our family’s eyes. We gave thanks for our fathers who are not here to give thanks with us. We gave thanks for the fathers we did have, even though none of them were actually fathers. Just righteous figures that mentored and heckled and taught us. I’m sure a vast majority of our generation has this same space missing in their holidays. A sad, but often unmentioned gap at the family table. And people always try, like they have to try, to fill that space. People that came way too late to have any real impact on us, people that never seemed right for our beloved single mothers. People that try too hard, and probably for the wrong reasons. And I wish they didn’t have to try so hard. But I still give thanks. And now Black Friday is here and my better half is slaving away all day at both jobs, the latter just so happens to be at the mall of all places. Hope his guardian angels fly swiftly above him. He will need it. People asked me, Are you excited for Black Friday? Do you like shopping? No. And even more I hate crowds of shoppers. But hate is a strong word. I just wouldn’t choose to put myself through that for the deals, the sales, the marked up prices momentarily marked down for a frenzy of yuppy mothers to capture this season’s best offerings. For her family that doesn’t need the new slippers and ugh boots. But otherwise it is a spectacular Fall day perfect for a bike ride. And I give thanks for that and for my bike.

This is the Beginning

This is a collaboration of two genius minds. We promise you one thing, we will never take our blog seriously. Hey Go DUCKS! But LTD can lick my sweaty shaven nutsack. Little catch phrase from a local hero that we felt like sharing. Mainly because he rode by our apartment and screamed it. Wasn’t the first time and sure not to be the last. Little slice of Eugene pie, plenty more where that came from.

 

A few things we’re about here at Jambodickwater.wordpress.com:

1. We’re not sure what we are about.

2. We want to make sweet love to this world through our words.

3. We love the freedom of the Internet word.

4. We are hoping WordPress is not one to censor blasphemous creativity.

5. We’re about giggles at any cost.

6. Dancing in the rain, in our birthday suits of course.

7. The only thing that is certain is that nothing is certain.

8.We do not do cake.

9. We do pie.

10. We have come to realize that friends are often good people, but shitty friends. 

11. And like family you cant choose your friends, or can you?

12. We are ambitiously gunning for the number 1 blog spot in the world.

13. Fuck Perez Hilton. What a fake ass name.

14. Oh yeah, we also all about that paper.

15. Industrial hemp paper.

16. I don’t want to be in this shitty movie.

17. We believe turkey’s should be subject to mass slaughter only on the last Thursday of November.

18. And we believe you should give thanks on this day as well.

19. Mostly for the Turkey’s

20. But also for the general privileges bestowed upon our wonderful first world nation.

21. America. Fuck Yeah!

10/22. Sorry to break the cycle, but 10/22 is not only one of the sexiest number combos ever to hit the streets, but is also soon to be the freshest rad gear clothing line since Jesus was roaming the desert.

23. What else are we about you ask?

24. Thats it for now.

24. Come back soon for 24 more random pointless point lists.